Margie Chuang - Breastfeeding was a Struggle, but I Would Do It All Over Again (Blog #002)

It’s World Breastfeeding Week.

My husband and I made the choice that I would breastfeed both of our boys. Despite blocked ducts, mastitis, sobbing all over my nursing baby from time to time, I was incredibly grateful and proud to be a nursing mom.  

The most stressful and emotional part of the journey for me was maintaining enough of my supply to nourish my kids when they needed it. I nursed my first son for 7 months before pumping exclusively until he was 17 months old. 

With my second son, my supply suddenly dropped and for a brief time in July 2018, my baby wasn’t gaining as much weight as he should have.

As a breastfeeding mom, I felt horrible, guilty, stressed, heartbroken . . . I felt like I was failing my baby and myself. 

I was barely pumping 5 ounces in one session. The stress of not making enough milk didn’t help matters, so we started adding formula to my milk. 

As luck would have it, my friend who was an overproducer, donated her own breast milk to help increase my baby's weight. We didn’t know each other well at the time, yet this friend immediately stepped in to help. She’s now one of my dearest friends and our children continue to grow up together (via FaceTime these days). Moms helping moms is a beautiful thing.

My milk supply steadily climbed back up in the following weeks with rest, more fluids, and nursing longer from both sides, but it never went back to my usual amount. I didn’t feel my breasts fill up the way it did before. Pictured below is the first day I produced a “normal” amount again.

I miss those quiet moments in the middle of the night and the early parts of the morning, listening to my babies nurse . . . staring and marveling at every detail of their little faces . . . their fingers wrapped around mine . . . their tiny hands gently patting my chest . . .

While it was heartbreaking that I wasn’t able to produce as much milk again, I learned over time that I gave my babies as much as I could, as much as I can now . . . and that my body did everything that it could do to nourish my sons and keep me growing and thriving as well.

My experience with breastfeeding was emotionally hard, but I’m grateful and proud that I was a nursing mom.

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